Update on My Crack Addition (Dr Pepper)

It’s been three weeks now, and I’ve had only one Dr Pepper in a moment of weakness. And here’s the thing. It’s not getting easier! I still crave it like crack. When will this end? I need a patch. (And it’s a helluva good thing I never got addicted to Virginia Slims.)

Current Problems of Life Without Dr Pepper (not an exhaustive list):

Eating a burger today without Dr Pepper was like eating warm, freshly baked bread without real butter. It just shouldn’t be done.

Dr Pepper is a connection to home; it’s the national drink of Texas (unofficial). Without it, I’m a tad bit unanchored. And trust me, no one wants to be around me when I’m unanchored.

Coke is not a substitute. Neither is Root Beer. And don’t get me started on juice.

Water tastes like … nothing. Adding lemon makes it takes like lemon-nothing.

Coffee makes me speak really fast in meetings and pee too often. And I can’t drink it past 5 p.m. or I’m up all night craving Dr Pepper (and peeing).

Tea tastes like grass. Not the good kind.

I’m having to go to bed early just to keep myself from going to the SitNBull Saloon down the street to get a take-out Dr Pepper from the mean biker-bartender. Note: I don’t even think they have takeout cups, but I could bring my own. The biker-bartender would love that, I’m sure. I can see the look on his face right now.

Drinking vodka and wine at the same levels as I was drinking Dr Pepper is not advised by the American Medical Association.

My old stand-by comfort foods just aren’t the same without my refreshing, fizzy DP. Now, when someone asks, you want to go to Noodles? How about a bowl of chili? I say, eh.

The real kicker? My husband has quit Dr Pepper, too. And weight is dropping off him like <insert good metaphor I can’t think of right now>. Me? I’m gaining weight. Because in my sick little head, if I can’t have DP, then I’m damn sure gonna have pie and peanut butter.


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4 thoughts on “Update on My Crack Addition (Dr Pepper)

  1. Hi there! I just found your blog and think you are really funny. This is probably a ridiculously stupid question, but have you tried Diet? Or Dr. Pepper 10? I like the taste of both, but I might be coming in all deranged on this one. My particular favorite is Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry from one of the soda machines that lets you make a million different choices.

    • Hi Devon! Thanks for stopping by. And yes, I’ve tried the Diet DPs. But my goal is to get off all things super bad for me, and I’m pretty sure the diet drinks are up there, too. Unfortunately. Plus, they kinda taste like dog poop to me. My sister is addicted to Diet DP. I think this addiction thing MIGHT run in the family. ha.

  2. So glad I found your blog this week! My DP struggle continues to mirror yours; in fact, your eloquent post inspired me to drink TWO for breakfast this morning; so much for moderation, right? I have just ordered both your books on Amazon, and am about to go for a three mile run to undo some of the collateral damage from my “breakfast of champions.” If you are ever in Texas for a book signing, etc. I would gladly drive across our wonderful home state to meet you!

    • Thanks so much for supporting my work – let me know how you like the novels, ok? I did a book tour in Texas for Blue Straggler, but have not planned one for the latest novel. But I’ll post here if plans come together. I had a DP this weekend, too. At Sonic. On ice. It.Was.Superb. Sigh … A friend of mine told me it takes 45 days for the brain to change neuro paths or something. That’s when the cravings will start to subside. That means like 20 more days of this! Send vodka.

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