How to Stop Drinking Dr Pepper in Five Days

Dr Pepper

Day 1

Announce to your six-year-old child and husband that you are finally going to kick your crack habit. Ask for their loving, non-enabling support. Tell them, with their help, your body will be pure once again! Tell them this isn’t like those 12 other times you’ve tried to quit. And tell them you are way stronger now — and not to think of that unfortunate time back in 2010. Post to Facebook and graciously accept sincere congratulations from friends across the nation. Post to Twitter and get several replies from high fructose corn syrup fanatics.

Day 2 – A.M.

Order a grande, double-shot mocha at Starbucks because you deserve it after not drinking Dr Pepper all day yesterday. And you need the caffeine to ward off the withdrawal headache. This is going to be a good day!

Day 2 – P.M.

Drink a glass of wine (health benefits) for dinner instead of your usual Dr Pepper on ice. Drink another glass of wine to congratulate yourself on being so health-focused. Drink another and decide the evening walk can wait; you’d rather watch HGTV.

Day 3 – A.M.

Try to convince yourself that Honey Green Tea really is just fine. It’s great! Really great. Sip it in gratitude.

Day 3 – P.M.

Beg husband to drive to a neighborhood café and get you a Coke. Not a Dr Pepper because that would be wrong. But just a Coke. You know, to get you through the crisis. Even heroin addicts get help coming off, right? Offer unmentionable favors in return. When he refuses, search the Internet for cheap divorce lawyers.

Day 4 – A.M.

Stop for gas at a convenience store on your way to work. Figure it won’t hurt to have one very small fountain drink of Dr Pepper to ease the developing headache and quiet the shakes. Make plans to hide all evidence of the purchase from husband and son by carefully disposing of receipt and cup. Learn the Dr Pepper dispenser is out of order. Say a curse word so loud people in the store look at you. Take a deep breath. Consider it a sign from the Universe, put down the cup, and walk away. Exhibit pride for your determination to beat high fructose corn syrup at its own evil game. Go through a drive-thru and get a bacon-egg burrito because it is now justified.

Day 4 – Noonish

Experience withdrawal irritation at maximum levels. When a man bumps into you while talking on his cell phone in the kitchen at work and does not even acknowledge the invasion of your personal space, resist the urge to yank the phone from his hand and toss it in the trashbin. Instead, give him a nasty look and walk away. Stare longingly at the Cold Drinks! vending machine on your way back to your desk.

Day 4 – 2 P.M.

Drink a lot of water and announce to your coworkers that you are on Day 5 of the New You. Then realize it is only sadly Day 4. Decide to take a break to get more fancy coffee, which likely has more high fructose corn syrup in it than a Dr Pepper. Argue vehemently with people on Twitter for no good reason about the People’s Choice Awards. Envision them drinking Dr Pepper and hate them even more. Tell them so in 140 characters or less.

Day 4 – 3 P.M.

Sext husband in hopes he will change his mind about buying Dr Pepper at the store. Get no response.

Day 4 – 5 P.M.

Repeat “I will not stop at Sonic. I will not stop at Sonic.” to yourself 20 times while driving home. Fight back road rage during worse-than-usual traffic. Listen to meditation music to soothe your soul, which is going through withdrawal, too. Flip out when there is no wine in the house for dinner. Read “If You Give a Dog a Donut,” to your son at bedtime and begin to think of writing your own book called, “If You Give Me a Dr Pepper, I’ll Lick Your Face for Free.” Hope your mom isn’t reading any blog posts you write about this.

Day 5 – A.M.

Post to Twitter that the first person to bring you a Dr Pepper over Sonic ice wins a million dollars. (Void where prohibited.) Ignore snarky responses. Lie to spouse about the reason you need to run down to the neighborhood café. When he doesn’t fall for it, have a really positive discussion about how you can fight this together. Cross your fingers behind your back when he’s not looking.

Day 5 – Noon

Throw bottled water at spouse when he suggests it for lunch. Then sit down, drink the water, write a post for your blog, and know, for sure, that you’ve really kicked it for good this time. After all, five days is a long time. Eat Bottlecaps candy while writing blog post. Make plans to buy a 12-pack tonight.

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54 thoughts on “How to Stop Drinking Dr Pepper in Five Days

  1. Try Dr Pepper jelly beans! LOL!!! You technically won’t be drinking the HFCS so it doesn’t count…and they are really good!

  2. Found this link from Jenny Lawson’s blog and I think I love you! This is my entire life since New Year’s, and so far all I’ve managed to do is cut back to one DP per day. Except on really bad days. Or really warm days. But I guess one a day is better than two or three, right? My goal is to get back to drinking one per week, as I so smugly did when I was training for a half marathon a few years ago. I’m amazed you can even find DP in Colorado. When I was in Keystone for my daughter’s wedding, I stopped for some very expensive gas and then stuck my head in the store and politely asked “Do y’all sell Dr. Pepper?” only to be told “NO, so obnoxious Texas people won’t come in here asking for it!” Then there was the Los Angeles convenience store clerk who restored my faith in humanity by answering the same question with “Yes ma’am! My grandparents live in Waco and they would disown me if I didn’t carry Dr. Pepper.”

    • ha! Glad you found me but not glad to hear that 1) you’re dealing with this crack addiction, too, and 2) that you had a nasty experience with a mountain asshat who doesn’t understand the value of DP. People up here either love Texans or hate Texans. Not much in between. As for me and DP …I fell off the wagon last week after one of those really bad days you speak of. But I’m back on this week. We’ll see how long this one lasts … Thanks for reading. Oh, and I’m an Aggie, too! It’s like we’re twins. 🙂

  3. Texas Aggie women gotta stick together! Actually, I’m just a proud Aggie mom. My daughter is class of ’10 and my future son-in-law is class of ’12 – a member of the Corps and Ross Volunteers with no hair and a lot of “yes ma’am.”

    It is baffling to me that a can full of chemicals can have such a potent effect, but I want one first thing in the morning; the other time I completely crave it is when I first get home after a stressful day. I don’t do moderation well, but have managed to cut back from three a day to one; only three days this year have I had a second one. Next step for me is cutting out one day per week, then another, etc until I get down to one on Friday every week. On the other hand, part of me really wants to know why I have to give them up! Even my doctor says one a day is okay if my diet is otherwise healthy and I keep running 2 – 3 miles per day. Please keep me posted on your progress – I need all the inspiration I can get. Consider me your newest disciple in Texas!

    • Yep, I crave one first thing in the morning and then one for dinner. I was up to three a day, too. And gaining more weight with each can down. 🙂 I like your moderation plan. This cold turkey stuff is for the birds. (ha?) But I’m still trying. It’s been 3 weeks now and I still crave it as much as day one. It’s a good thing I never really got into smoking or LSD. Ha. Enjoy those Aggies. We’re a strange but loveable breed.

  4. Oh you just kill me, Kathy. You are hysterical. I don’t know how I missed this post! This is me and mochas. Sugar, curse you!!!

  5. my favoirte entry: Day 4, 3 pm — made me laugh out loud 🙂

    i kicked a coke habit by replacing it with flavored seltzer that I HATED dat first and then grew to love AND my experience probably won’t help you because I was drinking just one a day — but, it all started out with a sip or two from my husbands can (he’s a serious coke addict down to preferring it in bottles — oy vey!) he’s also uses tobacco which i’ve been told CAUSES the sugar cravings — is that true??? BUT i will say what you probably already know – cold turkey only works for a small % of people — cutting back over a period of several weeks will either increase your chance of success or decrease it — what do i know 🙂 i will wish you much luck AND just so you can totally hate me I will say one final thing that just might help your in your struggle to be free — your daughter is watching everything you do and will most likely emulate you when she grows up… yup, low blow — i know — but, again — nothing you didn’t already know — now — go do the right thing…
    PS no, i’m not crazy — unless you ask my husband but that doesn’t count 🙂

      • Well, all I have to say is that to all is that I drink and love my Dr . pepper everyday, my grandparents are both 104 and 99 years of age and , both still alive, when people ask them what is the key to a long life, their first response is, to drink plenty of dr.pepper, been drinking it since the 1920s. They also have old friends still alive today who reply with the same.

      • With the onset of the fall semester this week, I seem to be back to drinking three a day, which is making my acid reflux much worse…sigh…I guess the good news is that I can live to be 102 with this stuff!

          • No hero here, just a woman who doesn’t do moderation well. I guess the good news is that your health has been restored to the point you can metabolize Dr. Pepper again! So glad to know that you’re back to “normal,” if that’s even a thing we can be.

  6. For freak’s sake! I can’t believe that I googled “How to stop drinking Dr. Pepper” and actually found someone as miserably addicted as me. I ask you “How could one cold liquid go so well with so many food groups?”

    • Hi Karen! I’m glad you found me, but not glad you are as addicted as me to the crack. We seriously need a support group.

    • Welcome to the club! I’ve just been diagnosed with acid reflux, so now I’m officially not supposed to have DP. At all. Ever. I have managed to cut back to around six to eight ounces per day, and have lost seven pounds in two weeks. Hmmm, maybe that stuff really IS bad for us! Good to know there are enough of us to form a support group – glad you found us.

  7. I found this when I searched in Google, “what happens to your body when you stop drinking Dr Pepper. ” I’m on day 5 and honestly feeling good, the craving is less. I’m all or nothing, so cutting back wouldn’t have done me any good. I told my husband I compare this to quitting smoking and he looked at me like I was crazy. It has to be just as bad. ..the cravings, non stop thinking about it, bargaining for it, begging for it. ..insane how addictive that delicious, sugar filled, carbonated, wonderous liquid is! Thank you!

    • Oh good luck, good luck! Let us know how you’re doing with it down the road and HOW YOU DID IT! please? thanks! (and thanks for reading)

  8. You may wonder how readers find you. Well know that I must have googled “addicted to Dr. Pepper” for a “friend.” *sigh* this made me know that the Dr. Pepper addiction is real, as is the struggle. Thanks.

  9. My husband was telling me & our friends that he can stop anything cold turkey but Dr. Pepper; being the awesome wife I am I did Internet search on how to kick the habit & your blog came up. I read this out loud to my husband & friends lets just say our tummies got great exercise from laughing so hard. Thanks for sharing!

  10. I too am addicted. I’ve tried to quit so many times. I have migraines so often and one a day helps, but I can’t just do one a day. I’m drinking two to three a day and that many triggers migraines. I’ve tried cold turkey and it is the hardest thing hands down. However, my willpower to cut back is terrible also. My dad quit smoking after over forty years! But I can’t quit this! I’m not an Aggie, I’m an Okie. I hope I’m still welcome.

    • All DP addicts welcome here! 🙂 Sorry I’m just now getting to my blog comments after more than a month. I’m a bad, bad blogger. I’ve had months where I could cut down to one DP a day. Then I always edge back up again … It’s ridiculous! But alas. The holidays are coming. Maybe I can substitute increased amounts of alcohol …

  11. I am so glad I found your blog. I ask myself everyday, “what is wrong with you that you can’t stop drinking Dr. Pepper or soda period.”. I know I am not alone! My family is on me often to quit. They are concerned about my health as i am now in the “obese” category. Ugh! Thanks for sharing your experience. By the way, my son is getting married in April and I would love to lose some weight!

    • Sandy, I’m sorry I’m now checking my blog comments after a month or so off. No, you are NOT alone. I still struggle every dang day. I wish I had magic words, but alas, I am so addicted still. Good luck and congrats on your son’s upcoming nuptials. But by the way, you will look wonderful and happy and strong no matter how much you weigh at that wedding. So enjoy life!

  12. So I’m wondering…when ya’ll say “one, two or three” are you talking about 12oz cans, 20oz bottle, 1 liter bottle or 2 liter bottle?!?! 🙂

    At one point I drank 4 2 liter bottles a day, through out the day! I finally got that down to about 2 2 liter bottles. At this point I have 2 12oz cans in the morning and 2 cans in the evening, which is still way too much.

    My problem is I drink my DP out of a cup with ice. I use to have a 44oz cup but I down sized to a 32 and today I just went and got a 24oz so I will only be having 1 12oz can in the morning and one in the evening. I am getting older and I’m not as active as I use to be so the weight isn’t being worked off as quickly!

    The weird thing is while I’m at work I don’t drink DP. I drink unsweetened vanilla chai iced tea!

    Good Luck to you all!

    • Further proof this stuff is like crack cocaine. 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting. And I HAVE to have ice with my DP. I’m down to 2 small cans a day now. Progress? I guess.

  13. When I say”one” I’m measuring by 12oz cans. I used to prefer it over ice but switched to cans a few years ago. Current intake is two or three a day, still trying to cut back to one! Several years later, this post is still so true!!!

  14. Pingback: Hello. My Name Is Crystal And I’m A Dr. Pepper-aholic. – Koutz Farm

  15. Greetings from your homeland, and I hope you saw the A&M game on Saturday! A curse? Really? Or maybe a BLESSING! Where else can we find so much happiness in a 12 ounce can??? Four years after finding you here, I’m still rocking along at two a day, sometimes one if it’s not a work day. On an unrelated note, they produced a bunch of “special edition collector cans” (is that even a thing???) in some sort of Dallas Cowboys promotion. Didn’t realize it when I bought two 24-packs, but the cans are BLUE. It is so weird – I swear it doesn’t taste the same as my beloved DP in the traditional red can. As long as I am working two jobs and taking care of a 92 year old toddler, I think I deserve a medal for only drinking two.

    • So much to comment on here. 🙂 First, yes, I rarely miss an Aggie game on TV. Even when it starts at 10 am our time. (WTH?) And I don’t think I have EVER watched an Aggie game, in person or on TV, without a Dr Pepper in hand. I’m still rocking 2, sometimes 3 a day. And my own dementia toddler back in Texas drinks like 6 a day or more if you don’t stop her. Which is funny because she always gave me hell about my addiction. Now, about these blue cans. No, no and no. That insanity must stop. And why yes, you deserve a medal. Especially for being such a good fellow addict for the past four years.

  16. I love Dr. Pepper…lol…I…am drinking it now….but I am cutting down big time, all week I had like 2 cans or so. But I love it. And it is all AMERICAS FAULT!! I already liked it, but America Fountain Dr. Pepper…omg.. I still remember…Me and Dr.Pepper…oh what a Dr…what a stud…I mean Dr.Pepper reached to my soul..*stomach..basically same thing*

    ..I kept drinking and drinking it..sigh…America is for me like a big huge DR. Pepper can. I miss Dr. pepper… I miss America… (I really do miss my friends there bad.) Greetings from the Netherlands

    *I want to cut it completely, but its hard ! I do drink special lemonade now..and next week will be 0 cans!*

    • Let us know how you’re faring, Elly! And I have to ask … can you even GET DP in the Netherlands? I couldn’t hardly find it in Hawaii this past week. 🙂 Thanks for reading from afar!

  17. My name is Ryan and I’m a Dr Pepper addict. I just put my 100 oz jug of Dr Pepper outside so I can’t see it but I know it’s there losing its carbonation. What a waste. Isn’t that justification enough to drink the rest of it? It’s not good to waste right? I told myself to just pour the rest out on the ground but every time I grabbed the jug I would take another swig. Damn that stuff is good. I set down the jug while savioring the wonderful flavor of the Ice cold Dr Pepper forgetting what my original goal was to begin with. I feel like a Dr Pepper shark and if I don’t keep Dr Pepper flowing across my gills continuously I will die. I even told the people at the local convenient store who know me and my addiction very well that if I ever fall down short of the Dr Pepper fountain and I’m just lying there to pour some Dr Pepper in my mouth and in just a few moments I will be fine again. What am I going to do? I don’t want to drink anything else. Water is so pure and clear and healthy and blah blah blah… can I have another Dr Pepper please? And don’t you dare touch my jug or threaten to dump it out. I’m like a dog when you mess with his food! But I do have something negative to say about DP. I HATE THEIR COMMERECIALS!!!! So lame!!! Who is there target crowd anyways? I gotta go. I gotta go outside and check to see if everything is ok. Oh look at that it’s my Dr Pepper.

    • Ha!!! Great comments, Ryan. My Dr Pepper in my wine glass was perfectly ice-cold for our Easter lunch … and I completely GET the “I better drink this because it’s going to lose its carbonation soon …” thing. I’ve thought the same thing a million times. Addiction ain’t pretty.

  18. Hey it’s Ryan again. Or as some of the girls working at the convenient store by my house like to call me, “Dr Pepper!” I’m not any better. I actually forgot I wrote this and was looking for a way to quit when I found this article, again. I’m a little older and a little fatter but I’m still drinking DP everyday. I keep wondering what’s going to happen to me? I have been doing this for so long now, about 30 years I think. Hold on a second. Ahhh. I was losing my focus but a lil DP just saved me again. I was next door helping my new neighbor with her yard. She asked if I wanted a water? No thanks. Sweat dripping off me as I chop up another tree. Then she said it, “Do you like Dr Pepper?” My eyebrows went up and my head tilted like a dog when it listens to a new sound. I love Dr Pepper!!! She brought me out a 16 oz (aka shot glass) but at least it was cold. So as you can probably tell I’m still addicted. I did some research the other day and learned that too much sugar can cause the nephrons in your kidneys to in a way wear off so that they no longer function! Oh crap. My jug holds 100 oz minus the ice so about 300 g of sugar in one fill up. I usually fill up twice a day. Plus a rockstar to help me stay awake because I do shift work. I keep telling myself this is not good but I don’t see any side effects. Yet. I don’t know. I guess I’m mumbling now. Today is almost over so I guess I can put off quitting today and save it for tomorrow. Right?

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